o_____O

Hi

YAY!! BOYFRIEND!!!

It's been great. REALLY great. We've been getting closer and closer everytime we see each other. Last time I saw him was last night. We had a lot of fun just hanging out. :]]] We talk on gaiaonline almost every day. For those of you who don't know what that is, here:

www.gaiaonline.com

There you go. Fun for you, I guess. I'm not really into gaia a whole lot, but it allows me to communicate with Dan when his phone isn't charged.

Damn, I miss him. o___O;; I hope I'm not annoying. I hate it when I feel annoying. Oh, well. It's just one of my mood swings.

My dad is an asshole for stalking me constantly. ARGH. I hate him. If he was gone, my life would be perfect. He doesn't know I have a boyfriend. Not to mention the fact that Dan's gonna be 18 in a few weeks, soooo. Yeah. Let's hope he doesn't find out.
The other day I told my dad that I didn't love him. I know that's mean, but I'm a very truthful person, and it was getting very hard for me to lie to him. *FAILS* Well, I felt a little better after that, but now he's up in my face more than ever. How do I let him know to just FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE. Jesus... Seriously, maybe if he left me alone for a little while, I'd actually MISS him. God Forbid.

April is a bitch. A BIG FUCKINNNNN' BITCH. Especially with the whole Ben ordeal.

Bryan found out me and Dan are going out. o___O;; That was awkward...

I've decided to stick up for myself this summer. I'm tired of being stepped on and used all the time. FUCK FAKE FRIENDS-FUCK USERS-FUCK HATERS-AND FUCK HANNAH MONTANA!
i don't look like her... -__-

That's all I have to say.

In Regards To Myself....

***Zan

Neo...

Hi

Well, there's the title. "Neo" meaning New. New everything. New hobbies, New Boyfriend, New Outlook on life. Well, sorta.

I don't wanna die anymore. I thought that was a little weird, but yeah. It's probably better. I mean, I've been not caring about if I die since I was ten years old. Now, I suddenly care if I die, or not. I mean, I'd be content with dying right now if I got to see Dan beforehand, but I'd prefer not to die.

You can probably tell. Dan said yes. ^__^ Do you know how happy that made me? VERY. hahahaha. We're going out now. He went on vacation last week, but he'll be back tomorrow. I can't wait to see him.

I'm taking drum lessons. It's pretty fun, and I'm really good.

In Regards To Myself....

***Zan

Everything Is REAL...

Hi

Exactly. Everything is REAL.

I asked Dan out, and he said yes. I'm having fun. haha

ALWAYS REMEMBER:

6/3/08

In Regards To Myself....

***Zan

welllllllllllllllllllllllllllll...........

Hi

Kay, so....

It's been horrible since I last posted.
I had Jake, but he turned around and stabbed me in the back.

yeah, what else is new?

Also, one of the only REAL friends I have left is getting farther away from me because she is about to violate girl-friend rule #1: DATING YOUR GIRL-FRIEND'S EX.
HEY!! THAT'S NOT KOOL!!!!!
1.) Because he's a huge asshole
2.) He's ignorant
3.) He destroys everyone he dates
4.) He's promiscuous
5.) I'm still not over him, exactly.... :/

Even AFTER telling her these reasons and more, she STILL isn't listening to me, and i'm worried. I guess I know who my real friends are.

THE GUYSSSS!!!!
Yes, I hang out with almost all guys now. I think that's kool because they actually talk to me, and they're just really fun to be with. XDD
And, I really like one of them. His name is Dan... : 333
I think I'll try asking him out tomorrow, but I'm SO SCARED. o___o;;;
Even though it's pretty obvious that he likes me back, I'm just really paranoid that he doesn't, and when I tell him my feelings that he'll act really awkwardly, and won't wanna be friends with me anymore..... ><;;;;;;;;;

I hope that doesn't happen... Oh, PLEASE don't let that happen...
If that happens, I'll be completely alone.... o_____O;;;

In Regards To Myself....

***Zan

Enveloped In Blue And Yellow Love...

Hi

Soooooo...

I haven't gotten around to being here in awhile, and i apologize. Even though no one reads this stuff, I still feel pretty bad... /._.\

But things have happened since I left.

Like, my parents tricked me into going to see a psychologist.

I'll Elaborate:

So, about two weeks ago (april 25th), my mom said that she set up an appointment for me to see a doctor that will give me sleep medication. I'd fucking KILL FOR SLEEP MEDICATION. So I went willingly. What I didn't know is that she was actually taking me to see a psychologist. My dad was there too, and we all had this deep conversation on what's going on with my head. We didn't talk about sleep at all. After my parents left, I had a private talk with the psychologist (Sharon). I told her that I was here for sleep meds. She told me that she was not qualified to prescribe meds, and that I had been duped. WOW, I was pissed....

Like, my birthday.

I'll Elaborate:

I had a really kool party. I got awesome presents. XD My friend David got my SO much candy!!! Only two of my guy friends came, though. >< I still had lots of fun with my girlfriends too. Bryan was all over me with his hands down my pants. It was disgusting. I just wanted to die... I got in touch with my old friend, Chris White, too. That was pretty nice. haha. I'm 15 for real now, by the way.

Like, Jake Walter...

I'll Elaborate:

I met Jake on New Year's Eve. First new friend of the year. I had gotten ditched by my friends that night, so I got on the computer, and went into the facebook group, 'emo', and I wrote on the wall that I was lonely, and looking for friends. Jake replied to me shortly after, and we were friends. We talked all that week, and soon we were best friends (He thought I was a guy at first, but he found out I'm a chick later. haha). About a month ago, He started to tell me that really really liked me, and stuff. Then he said he loves me. I love him too.... Except one problem, he lives in Canada. I live in Florida. ><

That's all that's been going on right now.

I'll get back to you later. XDD

In Regards To Myself....

***Zan

Drifting Into The Abstract...

Hi

I realized how much i love Nine Inch Nails. o___O I know I'm a little late accounting on how all of their hit stuf was hott like, two years ago. Like I care though. haha
My fashion sense was always questionable. XDDD

My old best friend just apologized to me.... He broke up with his overly-controlling girlfriend. o__O I'll re-live this moment over and over. XDD

XDDD

NO ONE READS MY FUCKING BLOG.

In Regards To Myself....

***Zan

ZOMFG... ARMOR FOR SLEEP!!! Part 2

Hi

MY. FIRST. CONCERT. WAS. AWESOME.

XD

So, we drove over to the House Of Blues in Orlando with everyone in the back of my dad's "Clown Car" (Gawd, that was such a tight squeeze... ><>
Anyways, when we got there, we were walking toward the House Of Blues and we were doing the macarena all the way there for some reason. o___O no one knows why..... XDD [I used my parents camera to take videos, so I'll be putting them together this weekend, and it will be edited and on youtube. :DD I'll put the link up here, even though no one EVER reads my blog. So whatever.]

We walked in there all kool-like, and the first thing Sydney said was, "BATHROOM." She just started walking, and we didn't know where the fuck she was going. I don't think she did, either. haha. She ended up having to ask for directions, and it turns out the bathrooms were right next to the entrance which was on the opposite side of the building. haha. The Irony!!

After that shananagan, we sat at a table (Not even bothering to take a spot on the actual floor), and we scouted for hott guys because that's usually what we do first anyway. XD We saw a few, but one really caught our eye. He was really tall, and had sexy hair. We were all like, *__*. We then took our spot on the floor, and he kept moving closer to our party, but yeah... o___O He stood right next to me within five minutes. His not-as-good-looking friend was scamming on a bunch of chicks, and actually winning which I thought was kinda weird because, ew.

The first band, Lydia, went up, and they were pretty good. I liked their strange dance moves... o___O haha.... When that ended and there was a quick break, Peyton was complaining about how cold her hands were, so Sydney rubbed her hands for her, but after a bit, it was really awkward, so they stopped. She was still cold. Then Tree-Boy's (That's what we called hott, sexy guy XD) friend comes up behind her, and turned her around and started rubbing her hands for her. She was like o___O;;. That's when I really got to talk to Tree-Boy, who's name is actually Evan. [His friend was named Diego Sanchez, btw] :DD We were having good conversation, and then the next band came up.

It was Metro Station. (I found out that night that the lead singer is Miley Cyrus's brother. o___O I thought that was funny. :]) The base guitarist was really hott, but you could tell that he was so full of himself. Hahaha.

After that, there was another break in which I got Evan's screename on AIM. I'm devious. Anyway, the next band that went up was Set Your Goals. They were really kool, and Punk Rock, and Hardcore. People were moshing, and I was the one that got beat up the most in my group of friends. I almost switched personalities, but I didn't let it happen. I got punched in the face twice, elbowed in the back of the head, knocked over, had boobs up against me (EW), and got stomped on. I was pretty much over it, but then this girl with fucking sharp nails start climbing and crawling over the crowd. That bitch kicked me in the side of the head! Then, she knocked over this one guys girlfriend who was younger, and she cried! I was like, "Oh, no you DIDN'T!" So, I climbed up the bitch with the nails, and punched her right in the face! XDDD Bad. Ass. She tried to punch me back, but Sydney got to her first. haha.

The best this about that mosh was the fact that a lot of people got pushed forward closer to the stage, so I was really close to the front. Then, people started to leave, so I WAS RIGHT UP IN THE FRONT WHEN ARMOR FOR SLEEP CAME UP NEXT!!!! I FLIPPED out when they came on! They were SO amazing!! I screamed, "I LOVE YOU!!" And Ben Jorgenson was like, "Thank you." :DDD The first song they played was 'Smile for The Camera' from their newest CD. After that, they realized that their amp was broken. Ben Jorgenson said, "How the fuck are you, tonight!!... We have a great show for you tonight!... *looks over to PJ with the amp* If our shit works. o__O;;" That was funny.

Except the amp remained broken, so Ben had to give up his guitar to PJ, so he could play. They played 'The Truth About Heaven' next, then 'Hold The Door', and 'Chemicals'. The amp was still broken, and they were having trouble playing, so Ben asked, "Does anyone have an amp we could borrow, like, in their car or something? If you do, tell me, and I'll give you a pass to get back in here so you can go get it." Then this girl yells back, "Oh, I do! I do!!" So he threw her the pass, and he said, "My keys are on there, so I'm gonna need that back after the show..." She didn't even move!! She didn't have an amp! She just wanted to steal from the band! That was a really bitchy thing to do.... I mean, I'M a HUGE fan, but i would NEVER do something like that! Seriously!!

When no one came back with an amp, they were in real trouble. They couldn't continue. Ben asked the crowd, "Is everyone REALLY excited to see Saves The Day?", and these two ggirls in the back were like, "SAVES THE DAY!! OMG!! SAVES THE DAY!!" So Ben replied, "Well, I guess we'll just leave then because everyone wants to see Saves The Day more, anyway, so after this last song, we'll go." I. Fucking. Cried. I screamed "No! I came here to see you!!", but it didn't work... They played 'Car Underwater', and then they left... It was really sad, but I'm just glad I got to see them, and be near them...

Craig was there with me the whole time... I felt like he was right behind me... We were there together, I just KNOW it...

I bought a SHITLOAD of Armor For Sleep merchandise. haha. [A pillow-case, a T-Shirt, 4 pins, and a signed poster] It was an AMAZING experience. A lovely first concert... I just wish it could've gone on longer... /;_;\

The headliner, Saves The Day, came on afterwards. When their first song ended, we left.

It's funny, I'll be back at the House Of Blues next Thursday to see Panic! At The Disco. Too bad my gay friend from Pennsylvania can't come.... /.__.\

Remember, I'll post videos of my experiences later on.

In Regards To Myself....

***Zan